I have reached maximum stress, it seems.

I am a fairly adaptable person, and relatively proactive about my mental health and clarity, but this past year has been intense in every way.

Today, even tiny decisions (what should I make for meal? what time should I do barn chores?) sent me straight into adrenaline-level stress response. Adrenal paralysis.

Consequently, nothing much has been done. I did do barn chores, because hungry animals need to be fed and lonely ones played with. (took a goat horn to the face in the process) I did make meals, because hungry children need to be fed and cuddles and hugs must happen. And we drove to the feed store several towns away, because the local one is closed due to staffing issues this week and we emptied the bag of chicken feed this morning. I decided how many bags/bales of what we needed.

That is my one victory today. I decided on amounts and types of animal feed and bedding.

And that’s okay.

Tomorrow, I will arrange for (and possibly buy) new tires.

If I have enough mental bandwidth left after that, I will call a guy who may be able to help us with installing the stovepipe.

Some days, all you can do is make one small forward step.