I like chickens. When I was very young, I formed the idea that a flock of chickens pecking about in the yard was about the homiest thing a person could have. One of my ambitions was to have my own flock one day.

I achieved that goal in the summer of 2018. I designed and built the coop myself (badly. Very badly), and researched and researched and researched and chose my breeds with great care. I didn’t have an incubator at the time, but a friend offered to hatch for me, so when the eggs arrived I rushed them down to my “chicken midwife” and waited anxiously for the next 3 weeks.

I ended up with 14 chicks in that hatch. 7 hens, 7 cockerels. They lived in my sunroom for 4 months because I was pregnant and tired and building the coop took a very, VERY long time. By the time it was ready for occupancy, the roosters had begun to crow. Seven roosters. In the house. Crowing.

I learned a lot that year.

I learned that chickens are disgusting and should never, under any circumstances, grow to maturity inside the house.

I learned that roosters are horrific monsters and I don’t ever trust one. Ever. I already had rooster trauma from childhood, and our own first roosters only reinforced the lesson. Don’t turn your back. Don’t squat down. Carry a rake in the pen.

I learned that if you have chickens, you don’t need a tv. They’re marvellously entertaining.

I learned that foxes are quick and sneaky.

I learned that choosing a favourite hen is like choosing a favourite character on Downton Abbey — that one is the next to die.

I still like chickens. Not roosters, but as long as he behaves himself, we do keep one to protect the ladies and fertilize the eggs. If he gets mean, we eat him with no remorse. Stefan was delicious with dumplings.

Our current rooster, Chocobo, is on probation. Early spring is mating/nesting season. Roosters get a bit stupid and agressive. He gets a LITTLE bit of grace because of that. But he’s 2 feet tall and has 2″ spurs, so he doesnt get much. He has not attacked me ever just for the sake of attacking. He has come at me several times because I was being too slow with the food. We upped his protein intake -hotdogs and mealworms – and he has settled down a little. I watch him, though.

One of my hens bit me today. Three times. Which is fantastic. Because it means she’s broody. She wants to hatch eggs. We’re unpowered out here. No incubator. So if she wants to the job, Great! We’ve never had a successful brood. They’ve mostly gone broody in late summer, which is entirely the wrong season, and abandoned the nest partway through. This early in the season, there’s a good chance she’ll stuck with it. I’ve watched chicks grow up in an incubator/brooder setting before, but never “naturally”. It should be quite fun.