Homesteading from scratch, on a frayed shoestring budget, with small children is an incredible challenge. We try to make sure they understand why we are leading the life we are, but they are kids. They miss electricity and running water. The occasionally mourn the loss of our house, which was comforting and familiar.

Their whole life has changed, too.

Add to that, we spend the greater portion of every day on the buildsite, hustling to get it done. While they understand that we are trying to make sure they have a structure to live in, they are not used to not having our attention. It is temporary, but children have difficulty with abstracts like temporary. They only know they want games and stories and cuddles RIGHT NOW, and we are busy. We try to make sure they have games and stories and cuddles on Saturdays and evenings and bad weather, but I occasionally worry that someday they’ll be telling their therapist about how mom was too busy for them.

Also, we have no furniture. With all of us in this bus, there is no space for chairs. We sit on the floor or on water buckets — neither of which makes for comfortable cuddles. Their beds are also too narrow for us to lay down with them when they’ve had nightmares — and ours is too high for them to come to us. Again, temporary, but something that bothers me.

Their toys and books are mostly all in storage yet. They each have a few things, but mostly, they play outside. In the mud, of course. And they’re not yet ‘country’ enough to not be indignant when they fall in the wet and the dirty.

I wonder sometimes how different this road would look if we were newly married or empty nesters. The house we would build would be considerably smaller, for one. Also, children require more of a schedule than adults do. Regular mealtimes must still be a thing, even if it would be more convenient to continue working another hour or two. Regular bedtimes, with their chosen portion of scripture and time for discussion must still happen, even when we are tired and grumpy and frustrated from the day. Even when we have nothing left to give, we must needs give to them anyway. Sometimes, that is beyond difficult.

But, we chose this life for their benefit as much as for our own. There is much that is unlovely in the current generations. Life in the Western world is easy and full of luxuries, and this leads to entitlement, lack of critical thinking, lack of skills, and frankly a good deal of boredom that turns people into petulant whiners who find no joy in the simple things of life. We want so much more than that for our children. We want them to know abundant life!

So for the time being, we do our best. We are humans. There is only so much time in a day. We have only so many emotional spoons. But we try. And we trust that in the end, it will be worth it.